My Birth Story

My last pregnant picture on 5/31/12

I've tried to write this post for months and I figure it's best for me to get this down before years go by and I forget how quickly this went...

My last post talked about how I felt like it was going to happen so soon because I had my bloody show... well little did I know but it was actually the start of my water leaking very slowly.  That day (Tuesday) I called my doula and she said that with bloody show there is a bit of cervical mucous that can come with that.  Well fast forward a few days later and I think to myself wow.. this cervical mucous won't stop.  It's now Thursday and I called Heather who says it sounds like a leak, she came over that night to check and my water is definitely broken!

This was nothing like I expected and planned for.  I had hoped to spontaneously start feeling labor, follow all of the steps that I had studied and have a textbook birth, but of course, life isn't that simple.

So we had discussions about what to do, should we go to the hospital right away, should we wait to see if labor starts on its own, should we try to naturally stimulate it to happen???  To try to move forward with more of a natural birth process, we decide to not go to the hospital that night and give my body one more chance to go into labor.  We did everything we could think of, acupuncture (thanks to Donna's hubby, Kuan) nipple stimulation, keeping the lights low and... NOTHING.  At least this gave me and Matt the chance to really enjoy our last few moments as just us two.  We went to chinatown, had a great meal at Lao Shanghai and had bubble tea (my favorite triple berry freeze w/ice cream).  After we came home we laid in our bed (for what I now know will be the last night for a while...) and fell asleep for the last time as non-parents.

Chilling in the hospital bed..
hoping for Cervadil to kick start labor

The next morning we headed to Swedish Covenant Hospital.  I coincidentally had a 7am prenatal appointment.  With the hopes of still going into labor naturally, I actually lied to my midwives and told them my water had broken that morning, so the 24 hr rule of inducing didn't apply to me.  After careful consideration with Matt and after being in the labor and delivery triage for 1 hr, we decided that inducing was the best option for us.  The first thing they tried was the Cervadil.  They gave that to me around 10am and that stayed with me until about 3pm when I accidentally lost it when I went to the bathroom.  At that point, they offered me pitocin.

Ok - if any of you speak to me, you KNOW how I feel about pitocin, I wanted to avoid it at all costs and was convinced that if you had pitocin, not only would contractions be worse, but you automatically will end up with an epidural.  I also found out that at Swedish, they don't have waterproof telemetry units, meaning, no laboring in water for me.

WHAT? No tub labor, crazy contractions, the chance of an epidural???  I felt defeated and had no clue what to do.

I had a serious talk with my doula and she assured me (I now truly believe she lied to help me out) that pitocin contractions are not bad and that I could get through it.  I trusted her and I'm so glad that we made the decision we did.

4pm the contractions started, they weren't bad at first.  I was actually giggling about the machine saying I had contractions and that I didn't feel much... until it really hit.  Matt had to push on my lower back as they started coming.  I started in a side laying position, then my doula had me move into a position where I was hugging the back of the bed while on my knees, which really helped move things along.  After that I labored using the birthing stool, then poor Matt, after that I hung onto his neck screaming while contracting more.  The last position I used was hanging from the birthing bar with the bottom of the bed dropped down.

During this time I remember feeling like I wanted to give up so many times, I wanted that epidural!!  But Matt and Heather kept me going.  I did turn to Matt at one point and said, "I never want to f*cking do this again."  Not true now, but I really meant it then ;).

Skin to skin

At 12:30am they said I could push, which was the most relieving feeling EVER!  I always imagined pushing on all fours, but I was so exhausted, that I stayed on my back with my legs on the birthing bar. Heather wrapped a bed sheet around the bar like a rope so I could pull back on it while I pushed.  I pushed for 30 minutes and my midwife, Kim, said if I don't push him out in 30 seconds that they will have to give me an episiotomy.  I freaked out... then pushed my baby out in 30 seconds.  I later found out that the cord was wrapped around his neck twice.  I guess I work really well under pressure ;).

My son was born.  I'm a mother...

As soon as he was born they put him on my chest and the feeling of having my child with me for the first time was better than anything on earth.  It felt like going to the moon and back.  My world felt complete with him in my arms.  They let me hold him as long as I wanted and about 45 minutes later they weighed and measured him (6lbs, 13oz and 20 inches).  When Matt had his chance to hold him, he said at that moment a void in his life was filled.

6/2/2012 1:06am... the moment my world became complete.

Matt and I with our doula, Heather

Matt and I know we wouldn't have been able to do this without our doula, Heather.  When she walked into the labor and delivery room, we felt safe and comfortable that we had an expert there to help us.  If it wasn't for her, I know my labor would not have gone as smoothly and Matt would have had a lot of weight on his shoulders.  Heather - we are so grateful for the support you gave us and X is so lucky you were there to help us welcome him into this crazy world.


The next few days/weeks/months were a whirlwind.  Breastfeeding was the hardest thing I've ever done, figuring out how to handle him on my own, having to move back to Mokena for a month while my condo was under construction, leaving my baby for the first time while throwing Jast's bachelorette party, her wedding and more.  I'll be sure to update memories from the last three months, along with future milestones.  Life moves too fast and he changes so much that I don't want to miss a beat.

My world.

1month

2 months

3 months

Fears, hopes and showtime?

We are just about two weeks away.  TWO weeks.  I'll be hitting 38 weeks this Wednesday and all thats on my mind is whether or not I can do this... What's "this"?  ...Handling childbirth, being a mother, maintaining my career, taking care of my family, not forgetting who I am, being a good wife, and everything else that comes along with this situation. 

34 weeks

35 weeks

36

I've done all of this preparation to hopefully have this beautiful and natural childbirth.  But what if I can't handle the pain, what if something goes wrong and I end up having to get a C-section?  What if that "instinct" doesn't kick in and I have no idea what I'm doing when he gets here.  What if this whole motherhood thing just doesn't come as easily for me as it does for everyone else?

Lately, I've been on a really off sleeping schedule and will clean in the middle of the night.  Is this really nesting syndrome?  The last couple of nights I'd be up at 3:30am doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen, rearranging his room for the millionth time.  Last weekend I went to sleep around 10, got up around midnight and cleaned until about 2am, then went back to sleep. 


I keep reminding myself that the goal is to have a healthy baby boy that I can have in my arms. Regardless of all these fears, Matt and I are excited and can't wait to have our little family unit together. 


This morning my "show" happened.  Skip this paragraph if you're grossed out by pregnancy nasty stuff...  This morning I woke up and went straight to the bathroom (as usual) and as I stood up it happened - lost my mucus plug and had a my bloody show.  At first I wasn't quite sure what was happening, but thank goodness I had my Doula, Heather, that was just a text away.  Anyway - this can mean that labor can be days to a week or two away.  I'm really hoping its days vs. weeks :).  


This put Matt and I into a very odd mood - excited, scared, anxious and more.  Matt is getting ready to wind down and work and I'm worried I won't finish my big projects at work as well.  But like it or not, X is on his way.  


My little Xavier:
You're not so little any more... actually you feel really big in me :).  I can't believe this part of our journey is so close to ending and the next step in our lives together is going to start.  I ask your dad every day whether or not you'll love me the way I love you.  I hope his answer to me every time is right.  I day dream about what you'll feel like in my arms and think about how hard I'll have to try so hard to not pinch your cheeks.  Be good in there little boy!!

3rd trimester bumps

Pregnancy brain strikes again - I failed to post any  bump pictures in my last post.  Here are my 3rd tri bumps :).

31 weeks

32 weeks

33 weeks

Single digits!!

I am stunned that we are 33 weeks this week.  This pregnancy has just flown by in the blink of an eye.  The day I told Matt that I had a positive pregnancy test feels like yesterday.  I can still remember feeling my world spinning and Matt's eyes getting as big as I've ever seen them.  At this point X is probably around 4.5 pounds (the weight of a pineapple!!) and almost 20 inches.  It's been getting a little more rough for me, feet and hands are constantly swollen, heart burn is rough, and he takes up a lot of space, so breathing by the end of the day even difficult!  Eating has had to move onto smaller portions, because I just can't fit any more into my body!!

Working hard and painting!

We have been really busy since my last post and so many things have changed in our situation.  We've almost finished redoing X's room, had our baby shower, changed our childcare situation AND Matt's dad decided on his Korean name!  

My mom god a balloon maker AND photographer!

For X's room - we repainted and got new white furniture from Ikea (crib and dresser - that we're using a changing table) and we were able to find an awesome Dutailier glider on craigslist for only $140!  The colors are white, green and brown - using the Carter's elephants everywhere.  We aren't 100% done - so I'll be sure to post pictures of the nursery once we've put the finishing touches!

Fab 5 Quilt

On April 14 - my Mom and Sister hosted an AMAZING baby shower for Matt and I.  It was held at Hibachi Grill in the southside and had over 150 people there!!  We were truly overwhelmed, and felt extremely blessed by all of the love for Xavier and, of course, from everyone spoiling him sooooo much.  We received basically everything a baby could ever need and more - high chairs, the baby bullet, clothes, toys, blankets, towels, changing pads and supplies and more!!  We're so lucky to have such amazing parents and friends!!  I also received my long awaited quilt from the Fab 5.  I love it and it is already sitting on our rocking chair waiting for Xavier to roll around on it :).  Jastine and Jane planned some super funny games that people enjoyed. And, of course, it was a buffet - so you can't go wrong there!  You can check out all 494 pictures here.  




The next day we celebrated Matt's Dad's birthday and he shared with us that he had chosen Xavier's Korean name to be JaeWoo Yang!  He's named after an ancient Korean king.  I've tried to do some research, but it's hard to find anything on him. Hopefully by the time Xavier is old enough, we can get more info on him.  He's going to have one LONG name: Xavier JaeWoo Yang Dumlao Lee (We'll just use XJL for his initials). Lots of family love there :).  


Really exciting news as well - we were trying to coordinate the logistics for the nannyshare and Matt's dad shared that he was open to retiring early to help take care of Xavier!  This is such a blessing and a very easy decision to make - Xavier should always be with family before anyone else.  What a lucky little boy!

Baby XJL - we can't believe that you are less than 7 weeks away from being in our arms!!  I already can't help but poke at you in my belly and feel that you are really there and moving and growing!  Your dad and I think about you all the time and talk to you all throughout the night.  Lately, you really like listening to American Idol and hearing Jessica Sanchez sing.  I wonder if you'll be a lady's man when you get older.  Regardless - you will be smother with more love than you'd ever imagine when you're here!! I love you to pieces and can't believe you'll be here so soon.

Already smiling...

Xavier at 28 weeks!!

The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of events, thank goodness my glucose test ended up okay.  We are starting our 29th week - officially into the 3rd trimester. I can't believe how quickly time has flown and in just a few short weeks little Xavier is going to be in our arms.  I can still remember when I figured out I was pregnant and told Matt for the first time, and now we're at the point where we can see his nose, eyes, lips, cheeks and make guesses as to who he looks the most like!!  Click here if you want to see all 68 pictures from his 28 week photoshoot (password: xavier) ;).  


At 29 weeks X is about 2.5 to 3 pounds and over 1 foot long!!  At this point he's done a lot of his developing and is moving a ton.  I can even feel him hiccuping and see his movements through my belly!

Normal breakfast

I wanted to say again how relieved I am to be done with that glucose testing.  I am so thankful that is not something I was diagnosed with and I'm going to continue to try to be as healthy as I can be with my eating habits and exercising habits.  At this point I am focusing on having as much protein as possible and walking everyday for 1-2 miles.  Most mornings I have cottage cheese, fruit, whole wheat toast and jelly.  Lunches are typically some sort of subway sandwich (even though I am SO sick of subway) and dinner is rice with veggies and meat.  

In addition to walking, I did my last "distance race" of this pregnancy on Sunday, March 25.  The Shamrock Shuffle was super fun.  I started the race off with Karen P. and Caroline K. (expecting and at 18 weeks!).  We had a great time at the race with some unexpectedly beautiful weather.  I finished the 8k race in 1hr and 8 minutes (avg. 13min & 40 sec mile) and felt great afterwards.  I did struggle a little bit with some cramping and slight braxton-hicks contractions during Mile 2 - which led me to walk about 1 mile through the race.  Overall, with walking and taking one bathroom break, I was pretty please with my time!   However, unless a random 5k comes up, this will be my last race until after X is born.  

28 weeks

29 weeks

Here's a few hump day bump day pix.  Of course pregnancy brain got the best of me and I missed a week 27.  Looking back I can't believe how quickly this belly has grown.  I feel huge.  I've started to have some swelling in my hands, feet and ankles.  I sleep with my feet up on pillows and wear compression socks through the day which has helped.  

My darling Xavier - I cannot believe you are only a few weeks away from being in our arms.  I love that you are so active in my belly and I can feel you every day. I'm going to miss having you with me all the time, but I can't wait for you to see and experience so many things in this world.  Your dad and I are working really hard on organizing your room and getting our place organized so you're not brought into the chaotic whirlwind we were living in.  So far - your room is by far the best room in our house ;).  We love you and can't wait to see that cute little smile in person.

Time for a strawberry sundae :)

So this morning I went in for the dreaded 3 hour glucose tolerance test (OGTT).  The test consisted of fasting from midnight, then getting up super early (6:30am) to head to Swedish Covenant to have the testing done.  When I arrived they do an initial finger prick and blood draw to test my fasting levels.  Then they give you a 100mg glucose drink (aka the most digusting stuff on earth) to drink in 3 minutes.  From there they drew blood every hour, three more times.  It was a miserable experience - this world really needs to find another way to test for this, because it's just cruel to not let a pregnant woman eat =P. 

The max levels vs. my results are:

Fasting: 95mg/dL vs. 87mg/dL
Hour 1: 180mg/dL vs. 190mg/dL
Hour 2: 155mg/dL vs. 126mg/dL
Hour 3: 139mg/dL vs. 103mg/dL

So I did fail one of the tests, but to be diagnosed you need to fail 2 of the 4, so I passed!!!!  I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am.  I feel like the effort I've put into staying healthy has not gone to waste :). 

I'll be honest - I'm going to have ice cream today to celebrate ;).

On a side note - when I found out the news and got excited - X started dancing in my belly.  He must know how happy I am.  I love that little guy.

Sugar sucks

I had my 1 hr glucose test done last Friday and just received the results.   Standard range is 60-139 and I scored 147, just enough to fail the test.  So, next step is to do the 3 hr glucose test, which requires you to fast starting at midnight (not hard since I'm sleeping by then!), head to the hospital first thing in the morning (I'm going tomorrow at 6:30am) to have 4 samples taken over the course of 3 hrs.  If I fail 2 or more of the tests, then I'll be diagnosed with gestational diabetes. 

This has been one of my worst fears through pregnancy since high blood pressure, diabetes and preeclampsia all run in my family.  I've done my best to maintain a decent diet (I know I'm not perfect, but I'm not eating McDonalds for every meal or anything!) and I continue to walk at least 1-2 miles everyday/every other day.  Sometimes people are just more prone to things than others and I guess I need to be even more careful than other women with what I eat and do.

I'm just going to pray tonight that the test goes well tomorrow.